crew fart league · iOS
Fartknight
Record. Score. Rule the Throne._
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// how it works
Record
Tap to rip. An on-device DSP measures loudness, duration, bass depth and ripples in real time. Nothing leaves your phone until you post it.
Score
Get a 0–100 Rip Score, normalized server-side so every microphone is judged fairly. 90+ is LEGENDARY.
Rule
Your crew rates every clip with stars and emoji verdicts. Climb the daily best-rip board and the weekly crown. Invite-only, never public.
// the ladder
Every rip earns a grade. Scoring is relative — for entertainment, not calibrated SPL — but the leaderboard doesn't lie.
- 90+Legendary
- 80–89Certified Banger
- 65–79Solid Rip
- 50–64Respectable
- 0–49A Mere Whisper
// the fart lexicon
Twelve scientifically-dubious classifications, sorted on-device the moment you rip.
SHThe Shart
MGThe Machine Gun
TCThe Thunderclap
FHThe Foghorn
MAThe Marathoner
SWThe Sphincter Whistle
SQThe Squeaker
SDThe Silent But Deadly
LFThe Lead Fart
RGThe Rusty Gate
STThe Stutterer
SIThe Standard Issue